It's Been So Very Long

Pardon my absence. I was preparing for my stand-up performance, and I think I did pretty well, for what it's worth.



That's not exactly why I wanted to post. My main reason is that I've come across an incredibly awful thing this morning. A man, if you want to call him that, violates a woman on a New York subway by rubbing his condom-sheathed dick against her. It was all on camera, and she stood up and took him to police. Duh. That's what you do; you don't need to be recognized as some sort of hero because you did what anyone should have done. Not only that, but she's a New York woman. Of course she has the brass balls to do something about it.

I don't like to generalize, and I really hate to sound as though I'm intolerant, but I guess you could say I truly am. Illegal immigrants are by far some of my least favorite people. I feel no sympathy when there are stories about the children going into college, then being removed because their parents from Mexico couldn't study for citizenship in the United States. I really don't care about our country's issues much, but when it comes down to people who have to clutter up our shit just because they want to live free or whatever the reason, I'm strongly against it. I'm tired of their inability to speak English, I can't stand the way they act, and I'm certainly not going to tolerate a guy on a subway with his covered prick pressing up against a woman.

One of my most favorite intellectuals of our time, one who goes by the name "Maddox," stated his opinion about wages for illegal immigrants. His argument is that if immigrants are given the same wages as a legal citizen, it "eliminates the incentive these companies have had to hire illegal immigrants in the first place." Truly, it's not the immigrants' faults that jobs are being taken. They're there to do the work, after all. The reason why this shit is still around is because companies hire them for less to do the shitty work we wouldn't want to do anyway. It's a great big way of saying "We don't give a shit about you, unless you save us money."

Anyway, I'm ending it here. I'm tired and hungry.

I Didn't Vote. I Can Still Live Here, Right?

So I didn't vote.

I didn't.

There's no point. It's just a bunch of liars and scoundrels that have similar motives. Neither one of both parties are ever going to do what they promise you. No one's going to speak for you when you have a voice. So, instead of choosing which liar I like best, I decided that neither of them would get my vote.

Now here's where you come in. You, the "democratic patron to society." You're a gambler. You have no idea of what will happen after the elections. The choices made won't be similar to the ones you thought they would. You argue that if you DON'T vote, you're not utilizing your rights. That's just the thing, though: Being that this is a country where my ideas and opinions won't get me shot, I should also have the right to not cast a ballot. If you tell me that what I did was wrong, you haven't seen the right aspects about it, nor will you ever understand that in the end, it won't make a difference. Only once in a blue moon will your guy get elected and save the world. I'd pay to see that happen.

I can't be coaxed into choosing a side. I was recently put into an attempted guilt trip from someone who was trying to force me to vote Democrat. Then I was told by someone else that if I voted Democrat, I'd be a scoundrel to America, and that "I should be shot." Listen to that. People who think that this country has liberties and the respect for opinion, and then contradicting it by literally threatening the people they disagree with. That's patriotism for you. There's your American right; just pretend you're on their side and listen to the filth they have to say about the other end. The hypocrisy between the people only shows our true colors. We're too afraid to be at peace with each other.

So fuck 'em. I don't vote, and neither does George Carlin.

Election Derp

I am a libertarian. A man with and without judgment that assigns importance with matters that interest me. I especially don't like being lied to, as that insults me as a person with half a mind to decide fates with the press of a button. Even if I DO offer my services, I'm one in 307,006,550 Americans with an opinion, most of which are made by selfish, gullible degenerates with very little in common with me. That being said, let me get on with my point.

Soon it's election day for governors and representatives, two words that don't match me with the individual at all. First of all, they govern what they're applying for. They're making decisions that don't represent my opinions whatsoever. Why would I vote for someone who doesn't think like I do, hasn't lived like I have, isn't poor like I am, or gone through the same problems as an American as I have? I take the bus, they take a limo. I drink soda when I can afford it, they drink champagne daily. This does not reflect my interests, this defies them.

What's worse is the door-to-door assholes who think by visiting once, they automatically understand the people. See them in-person another week later, and they'll call security if you even attempt to approach them. For someone who's representing me and governing my way of life, you would think they would be a bit more thankful for a visit, let alone have the courtesy to remember who I am. It's like when you pet a cat and give it food, and then it turns around and bites your knuckles off. What kind of gratitude is that? Why make a commitment to an animal that disapproves of your presence? Maybe it's a cat owner thing, I don't know.

They make all the decisions, make all of the money, pay hardly any taxes, kind of like church; The Catholic church as earned itself $422.098 billion. What does the church need for that much money? What are the hardships the Catholics have to endure that they can't spare a little extra change for the homeless? Politics, religion, same thing to my eyes. You're counting on something that may or may not be the truth, putting your interests and your money into believing, and in the end if you're proven wrong, you suffer the consequences. You only have such a small amount of faith before it gets completely twisted around and fucked in the ass with a representative's microphone in the shape of the holy cross. By voting, you're limiting yourself to trusting in someone who hasn't made their decisions widely known until it's too late to reverse them. Everyone makes mistakes, but politicians do nothing to correct them. They can't be bothered to do that, they need to refill their glass of wine.

So I'm afraid I won't be joining your little campaign this year. I'll only come along if there's free candy and sex being thrown in my direction, but until then, you get to pick your poison.

This Is Why I Can't Comment on YouTube

So recently, via YouTube, I watched the ever-brutal "Passion of the Christ" for the first time. The entire movie was SAW in the format of biblical scripting. Throughout the whole thing, I glanced down at some of the comments left by other YouTube users. Granted I shouldn't do that, simply due to the fact that there's an overabundance of incompetent children who aren't open to look into things deeper than their current perspective. There's nothing wrong with believing in Jesus and everything, but the responses typically have nothing to support their ideals in faith, hence why there are internet "trolls," or bullies, who target these individuals and create an intense rage for the user. I can't help it myself, sometimes.

I decided to step outside my boundaries and comment on the video, because you can't watch a religious movie without asking some questions, at least I can't. Here's my comment verbatim:
Pretty sure this never happened, at least not in the way it's depicted. This movie's just a violent attempt to show people the light, but really it's just a violent exaggeration of some passages in a book. It's more disgusting than spiritual. Why should his death, and not his life, be more important?

Looking back on it, I realize it's a harsh way to deliver my input. I felt like it was a reasonable response. One disagreed, however.

@Snoofalah his death is more important bcuzz of the way he died for us

This all turned into a tennis match of me giving reasons for my argument, and their inability to do the same. The entire "debate" consisted of me offering theories and possibilities and the other saying "wat r u talking abot?" Then they shared with me a fact that further made me feel like a bully:

@Snoofalah look im just 12 i dont know wat ur talking about but i do kno that jesus lovz us all n tht he is king of everything




My face. My expression, my emotion, represented in the picture above resembles everything I felt when I read that. First off, if you're going to offer a rebuttal, back it up with something that doesn't just sound like "I'm right because I'm right." Second, you're a child. This movie isn't meant to be seen by your virgin eyes, considering the whole movie is about the Romans beating the living shit out of your messiah. They want to believe that his getting turned into hamburger is more important than the things he taught his followers? If he hadn't said anything prior to being nailed to the cross, why would anyone bother about it? You don't just convince people you're the son of god by getting yourself beaten senseless, you have to try hard to-

Oh yeah, you're 12. Nevermind.

Who else is 12 on YouTube? There's too much of a chance I'll be arguing with another one if I comment anywhere else. Granted they're easy targets with little to no defensive qualities, but I'm not going to waste my fingers away by typing my side of the argument. Leave that to someone who cares about mentally warping a child's brain through the internet. That's just the way it goes there. Read the comments of some videos and you'll see that there is no shame or pity in these people. On a documentary segment I watched about insects with chemical, biological weapons, there were comments like "BUSH CAUSED 9/11, U FUCKER GO DIE." Why does this belong? Is there something I'm missing? Did I completely skip over something in the video that suggests insects flew planes into the two buildings, or something? What is the matter with this place?

I don't know. I'm going to drown my sorrows in root beer.

Relationships, And Why I Don't Like Them

Relationship, in this sense, being love interests. Not to be confused with friendships and all that. I like friends.

Throughout the years, I've liked a lot of women. I've tried hard every time to try and satisfy their desires, but each time has been a fail. Except once, but I don't think we need to go into detail about that. I stopped believing the problem was me, because I had only been following failing advice and not being who I truly was. Women are more interested with guys who don't lie to themselves, so I'm led to understand.

Why, then, do I not abide by this logic? Because although I am a women's rights advocate, women can suck pretty hard sometimes. My problem is that I'm too nice of a person. If I were a little more of a dick, that apparently would draw them closer. Don't take my word for it, just read the facts. Science, even if it's studied mostly for the wrong reasons, has given a little insight as to why things "don't work out," and one of the reasons, according to these studies, is that women appreciate when men ignore them. That's pretty fun. The girl you want to date is the one you have to give the cold shoulder to, or at least make her feel like the fat protection friend at the bar who won't let you talk to her more attractive girl buddy.

To be fair, guys are pretty shit at staying stable in a relationship. Nothing makes me not care less than to hear how a thing didn't work out because the guy was "such a jerk, and I don't know why I ever blah blah blah blah rabble rabble." I've listened to story after story after story, and it's all been the same song, the same menu, different names. Guys typically aren't known for being compassionate lovers and all that, because it's a primordial instinct that we seem to get cursed with.

I've taken note of human behavior, and I've found that no matter how complex a person is, they have traits that mirror cavemen and cavewomen. Men are typically hunters, women are gatherers. Have you ever been to a mall with a group of girls? You literally stop in every store, looking at stupid clothes they never wear. Guys, on the other hand, usually go straight towards where they intend to be, which is usually the LEGO section for me. Another unrefined idea of mine is in video games, though girls play them as well, making this argument rather hard to defend. Usually the games men tend to buy are first person shooters, or things to make people or creatures bleed or blow up. This isn't always true, but it's a pretty popular choice. I'm tired of hearing them talk about HALO all the time.

I need to cut this short because I'm unfocused currently. I woke up at 3 this morning, and I'm a little fuzzy about writing too in-depth. My whole point in this is that I'm sick of hearing about relationship issues and how they typically nosedive, and I wish that if people had a problem that they don't talk to me about it or ask for advice. That sounds cold-hearted, but truthfully, it's old and not very interesting. If it doesn't work out, that's that. Now excuse me while I play Minecraft.

God damn, I like Minecraft.

Not Review-Related (A Personal Message)

For years, I was taught how not to forgive or how to let my past wither away like the dream it's supposed to be. I was never shown how to give affection, or how to build. I was shown how to destroy, and it's taken this long for me to understand the consequences of my actions. While I try to move forward and strengthen my new self, I find it impossible to continue without feeling the ever-present weight of guilt and remorse. My lamentations increase with everyday that I haven't resolved my previous actions.

Back when I was a child, transitioning into a new school and a new way of life, I remember destroying a peer's life by issuing constant torment and physical aggression. He was smaller than I was. He was frail and had no control over what others thought of him. I focused the pain from old "friendships," the ones where things were thrown at me, I was beaten, abused, and shown no mercy. I still went back, only because I was alone otherwise. To relieve those terrible acts of violence, I passed it onto another individual, who truthfully wasn't much different from me. Now I understand that his abilities today, more so than they were before, are greatly limited. I was told he twitches, and that he has developed some sort of mental sickness.

I can't fully describe what this pain entails. Psychologically, I was ruthless against someone who told me I was worthless in high school. Granted this is to be expected, I took it so personally, the actions of this girl that didn't understand what kind of a monster I was. Over all those years, I had learned nothing, and after that year had finished, I issued forth an email that brought her parents great fear, and her to tears. I had been punished in some form or another, but it hadn't changed my behavior in the least. I was still unforgiving, no regret or conscience resisting my inability to let the past be gone. I brought grief on her for the next two years, until finally she cracked from being coerced and signed my yearbook with "I love you." I almost broke in half.

It wasn't until a few years later that I attempted suicide due to the strain that my conscience had developed. I felt so much guilt and a great hatred for myself that it felt like my brain was preventing me from performing the simple actions of day-to-day life. My skin was open from the self-inflicted wounds, and my heart slowed to a soft beat, so much that I couldn't feel it any longer. I downed the canister of medications and awaited my fate, only to have called the paramedics at the last moment. When I was placed in the hospital, my perception was plagued with the chemicals taking their effect.

All around me there were voices of people watching me. Everything was shrouded with a domineering darkness, only so much that I couldn't perceive what was fully in my surroundings. The little television blared silently from the ceiling, and then the visions truly began. A hand reached for my chest, tugging at the hospital gown I was forced to attire. A little girl appeared on the window sill, and as soon as I turned to see her, she frowned and instantly disappeared. My heart raced. I distinctly heard the words, "What's happening to my baby boy" in a broken voice, issuing forth the greatest sound of anguish that only a mother could speak it, but she wasn't there. All around me, these visions and callings echoed throughout the night, and from the fear of it all, I succumbed to the horror and disappeared from consciousness.

For days I was alone. I felt so outcast from the life I had created, and the burning in my heart was at its greatest peak of depression. My sorrows had known no end, and it rained all throughout my treatment. There was no more hope, and I had regretted calling them in the first place. Then, an epiphany occurred. Something happened while I laid in my tears, in complete helplessness. I realized that I alone could not possibly cause the downfall of the two lives I sought to destroy. The fact that they were still alive was proof enough that I did not greatly force them into the eternal void which I had so effortlessly tried to enter. There was no pain nor unpleasantness I'd made that ended lives. The things said about me in the past weren't true either, as the opinions of me were those of children. I understood, by myself, that the lessons that weren't taught by my family to me then would come from experience, and I only had to become willing to learn them.

I was born again, and now that I aim to change what once was, there is nothing that can stop me. I withstood trials and tribulations beyond what the human body is capable of in the circumstances I had enforced on myself, and I would march on and destroy those demons I had created. Should there be a day I cross those I've hurt, I will offer to them a sacrifice in which they can return the favors on me abusively. I will allow them to either hurt me in any way possible, or to forgive me and let me continue my quest of enlightenment. Until those days come, I will remain vigilant, and I will not victimize anyone ever again.

Because of this, I am the phoenix. I have risen from the dead, and now I have come to conquer my guilt once and for all. To Michael and Alexi: I am truly sorry, and I will allow you to unleash the furies I have brought you upon me.

Financial Crisis, Or "How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Debt"

My family wasn't raised rich, that's for sure. We've had our great deals of negative numbers, but we've always pulled through. It hasn't been until recently that I've discovered that we are strangely less funded than before. This, of course, is unfortunate, and it got me thinking a bit.

I've wondered about the real start of "money." The concept, and how we based its wealth. It was so important, apparently, that it bought out Judas and forced him to betray Jesus, and then Jesus used his lightsaber or something. I didn't read that far into the story to know what happened, but I'm straying from the point. The point is that whatever Judas was offered was seemingly a fair amount of coin, but what made that so important or so much more wealthy than his friend's life? Well, it's supposed to be a symbol of greed and treachery, and how the two join together and create terrible deeds. It's a symbol of how human Judas was in that he was sold out to a meaningless amount of blood money.

Human has one great weakness: greed. Greed is the state of mind in which an individual feels they deserve something over another. If one person is ill-keeping and consuming, they basically rob others the joys and necessities that they deserve. If that person is ill-spending and hoards their money, they don't provide enough wealth for the rest of us to use in order to share. I've looked at these two opposing wills, and I've made the observation that both are like political parties: Liberals and Republicans. Liberals spend, Republicans store. Neither of these two groups advances us much farther into the future, because they constantly debate about things we should have agreed on decades ago. If there's one thing that brings the two groups together, it's that both manage their richness in poor ways.

The insatiable desire to want more and more devours a person's concepts of fairness and life-worth. They glance over the things that bring us together and focus more on those that tear us apart. It's not money's fault, either; before the recorded point when gold and silver was the sweet shit, there was trading, and it was fair, at least to those who practiced it. It consisted of one thing transacted for something of equal worth, as according to those who agree to the bargain. There were thieves and bandits that robbed others of these goods, thus devastating families and shattering order. I think currency might have been made in order to try and prevent that from happening, and if that's the case, it sure sucks to know that it didn't work too well.

Since things are rising in price, it's about time we all stopped buying things for a second and took a breath, to look at all we've got and evaluate what we need instead of what we want. Free trade, in my opinion, is useless and time-consuming. Window-shopping is a ridiculous way to go about spending your day. If businesses sold the same things for the same price, neither business in theory would go broke, because there would be no difference in value. Everyone could have everything without the trouble of running around looking for the same thing with different price tags. I'm sure there's something about it that I don't know, but honestly, I don't think I'm far from the truth.

I guess this is all one big post asking people if they can help me via PayPal. Life is hard, and I don't expect to see anyone donating, but hopefully in the future I can afford things like internet and other such things. I'm hoping you're enjoying my reviews, those of you who read them, and know that I appreciate your following along.