Thursday, October 7, 2010

Relationships, And Why I Don't Like Them

Relationship, in this sense, being love interests. Not to be confused with friendships and all that. I like friends.

Throughout the years, I've liked a lot of women. I've tried hard every time to try and satisfy their desires, but each time has been a fail. Except once, but I don't think we need to go into detail about that. I stopped believing the problem was me, because I had only been following failing advice and not being who I truly was. Women are more interested with guys who don't lie to themselves, so I'm led to understand.

Why, then, do I not abide by this logic? Because although I am a women's rights advocate, women can suck pretty hard sometimes. My problem is that I'm too nice of a person. If I were a little more of a dick, that apparently would draw them closer. Don't take my word for it, just read the facts. Science, even if it's studied mostly for the wrong reasons, has given a little insight as to why things "don't work out," and one of the reasons, according to these studies, is that women appreciate when men ignore them. That's pretty fun. The girl you want to date is the one you have to give the cold shoulder to, or at least make her feel like the fat protection friend at the bar who won't let you talk to her more attractive girl buddy.

To be fair, guys are pretty shit at staying stable in a relationship. Nothing makes me not care less than to hear how a thing didn't work out because the guy was "such a jerk, and I don't know why I ever blah blah blah blah rabble rabble." I've listened to story after story after story, and it's all been the same song, the same menu, different names. Guys typically aren't known for being compassionate lovers and all that, because it's a primordial instinct that we seem to get cursed with.

I've taken note of human behavior, and I've found that no matter how complex a person is, they have traits that mirror cavemen and cavewomen. Men are typically hunters, women are gatherers. Have you ever been to a mall with a group of girls? You literally stop in every store, looking at stupid clothes they never wear. Guys, on the other hand, usually go straight towards where they intend to be, which is usually the LEGO section for me. Another unrefined idea of mine is in video games, though girls play them as well, making this argument rather hard to defend. Usually the games men tend to buy are first person shooters, or things to make people or creatures bleed or blow up. This isn't always true, but it's a pretty popular choice. I'm tired of hearing them talk about HALO all the time.

I need to cut this short because I'm unfocused currently. I woke up at 3 this morning, and I'm a little fuzzy about writing too in-depth. My whole point in this is that I'm sick of hearing about relationship issues and how they typically nosedive, and I wish that if people had a problem that they don't talk to me about it or ask for advice. That sounds cold-hearted, but truthfully, it's old and not very interesting. If it doesn't work out, that's that. Now excuse me while I play Minecraft.

God damn, I like Minecraft.


  1. I once felt the EXACT same way about relationships, women, and men. I couldn't understand how the hell guy's could get away with treating a woman like complete trash and still succeed in getting laid or getting a new girlfriend...I decided however that way of obtaining a girl would not be my way of doing things. I just can't be mean and ignorant of the girl I am with...ever. Bob, I know you probably don't care but what worked for me was just being myself, and luckily I was being myself around the right girl. Believe me, THERE ARE plenty of girls out there looking for a guy who wont treat them like crap, you just can't settle for anything less. NEVER SETTLE for something you don't will just hurt you in the end. Who knows, you might end up in the position I was in (maybe you already are) where you feel like you would never find the right girl, or it would take the rest of your life. Miraculously when I was feeling that way, I met my current girlfriend and we've been together for four months now. It might sound silly but I know she is the perfect girl for me, I know that she is the one I will spend the rest of my life with, and we are around eachother practically every day. Believe me Bob, even though you might not be looking for a relationship, there could be someone who unexpectedly will fall into your hands, you just have to be yourself and everything will be fine.

  2. I'm glad I'm not the only person my age still building stuff with Legos.

  3. In short. Women don't like it when guy's ignore them, they just try harder to get the guy's to notice them. So basically, guy's try to create insecurities within the woman's mind and play the game when they are at their most desperate moment. Thus creating the solution that the guy can actually take care of them and make them feel secure, which is what 80% of women want or feel they need.

  4. We all need to be comrades in this struggle. I have a hard time understanding how having a romantic relationship is somehow the ideal. Because I want a relationship where we are best friends and enjoy doing things together... and the only reason that it has to be a GUY is because I happened to be born heterosexual... gee whiz... thank you biology for limiting my selection to smelly boys!

    Oh, but I love boys.

    Anyway, I hear you. If you have Netflix, you should check out the Shotime series, "This American Life" based on the radio program of the same name. In one of the first few episodes, there is a 14 year old boy who has sworn off love FOREVER.

  5. Boys are gross. Aside from that, this kid seems to have everything put together. I wish I was as stone-cold as he.