Thursday, September 16, 2010

Because People On YouTube Don't Like You

Yeah, I figured I'd start this one out as an answer to a question rather than beginning with one and THEN explaining it. The question is:

"Why don't more people subscribe to my videos?"

That's what a lot of people are concerned about these days on the internet. Ever since programs like Tosh.0 have come up, people have been awaiting their 15 seconds of fame, only to be met with the disappointment of finding only 53 people have watched their video in the past two months. It's not all their faults, you know. The people who go to YouTube look to be entertained, not to watch you hold your shitty digital cum-corder while your friends make inside jokes and dance around like monkeys first discovering tools.

"Gee whilikers, Mr. Waack," you might say, "What about people who are always on the front page? They seem to get a lot of views." It's simple, really: YouTube is like a big television set that values quantity over quality. The more you can fill up a website like YouTube with video blogs, "Let's Plays," shitty reviews (unlike mine) and so forth, the more chances there's going to be a commercial interest going for them. That means company advertisements will look for the videos with the most views and host their nonfunctional products on them, which, in turn, will pay the user some minimal amount of money. THAT'S the real reason people want to be famous on YouTube. Greed and attention. That's the gist of it.

About those people on the front page: Have you ever taken a look at the usernames? They look pretty familiar, don't they? Yeah, they do, because those are the video makers YouPube is looking for to market their shit. "Fred" is the top of my hatelist on that website. It just goes to prove my point about quantity being more important. For those of you who don't like wasting your precious brains away, "Fred" is a character some kid made up years ago, who edits his videos in fast motion so that it makes his character sound like a kid, or some sort of hyperactive little shit that should have been aborted upon arrival. ANYTIME he puts up a video, it's a big hit. People are simple and love funny noises and actions, so this makes Fred the ultimate breath-waste jester of our time. Other names like these are "Shaytards," "CTFxC," "JLovesMac1," and so on and so forth. Talentless hacks that look partly good on camera but get too much spotlight.

Comment, rate and subscribe is by far my least favorite string of words put together now. That's all you see from these shitty videos. Why do you have to ask people to follow you? If you were good, wouldn't they do that already? I mean, it's not so hard for people to make their own decisions in life. I don't think you have to demand that people continuously watch your stupid antics onscreen regularly, so long as they might want to in the first place. YouPube should be used as a place where you go to find certain things you wouldn't find anywhere else, but now they're making it even harder to do just that. When someone wanted to find a clip from a commercial or a movie, they'd search and it would be right there. Now, copyrights from film productions and other sources, it's considered "stealing their material," then taken down for no one to enjoy. Fuck that, now I can't watch Gilbert Gottfried roast Bob Saget. That was the best performance.

Well, I've answered a lot in a short amount of space. If you're just starting and you REALLY want to become a hit, don't try so hard. Seriously, you shouldn't need to plea that people subscribe to you. If you've got a talent, or if you have something new to provide to the world of arts, people will recognize it, and it'll be a success. For those of you who keep on doing the wrong things, the title's the answer to your burning question.

On a side note,
people are relentless on that website. Seriously, read some of the comments people post. It's awful.

1 comment:

  1. There is that "catching a break" factor in it, too. Sometimes there are people that get some level of fame because of a shout-out by a bigger guy, or a video of theirs gets favorited by the right person. Sometimes talent won't even get you places on that site.